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Sunday, December 25th, 2005

(Salam~)

Time:12:25 am.
by J. R. Miller, 1894

Home is among the holiest of words. A true home is one of the most sacred of places. It is a sanctuary into which men flee from the world's perils and alarms. It is a resting-place to which at close of day the weary retire to gather new strength for the battle and toils of tomorrow. It is the place where love learns its lessons, where life is schooled into discipline and strength, where character is molded. Out of the homes of a community comes the life of the community, as a river from the thousand springs that gush out on the hillsides...

Home is the true wife's kingdom. There, first of all places, she must be strong and beautiful. She may touch life outside in many ways, if she can do it without slighting the duties that are hers within her own doors. But if any calls for her service must be declined, they should not be the duties of her home. These are hers, and no other one's. Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there. The best husband—the truest, the noblest, the gentlest, the richest-hearted—cannot make his home happy if his wife be not, in every reasonable sense, a helpmate to him.

In the last analysis, home happiness depends on the wife. Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. Her hands fashion its beauty. Her heart makes its love. And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, that no woman who has been called to be a wife, and has listened to the call, should consider any price too great to pay, to be the light, the joy, the blessing, the inspiration of a home.

Men with fine gifts think it worth while to live to paint a few great pictures which shall be looked at and admired for generations; or to write a few songs which shall sing themselves into the ears and hearts of men. But the woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies.

Thursday, November 3rd, 2005

(Salam~)

Subject:Femininity and Aggression
Time:11:38 am.
Mood: My cat :).
Essay: Femininity and Aggression
by me :)

I am reading the book "Odd Girl Out," by Rachel Simmons. The book covers aggression in teenage girls and how they use alternative methods to vent their aggression. The basic manufacturing of the inability for girls to express emotions like anger, sadness and aggression stems from an environment of mixed messages. Girls are expected to be nice, accepting, nurturing and perfect. Most girls identified the perfect girl as blonde, thin, dumb, nice, submissive, modest with many friends. Girls' expectations of themselves and other girls are of this type of thinking even though outside forces are promoting a different image. This image includes a new woman who is free, aggressive, smart, sexually assertive and independent.

The product is a girl who admires certain qualities and abides by unsaid rules yet is encouraged to break them daily.

Where girls are encouraged to do the same as boys in all aspects, they are still expected to be nice and submissive in regards to their feelings and expressing them. Where it's socially acceptable for boys to fist fight and "talk it out", it is not for girls.

Instead of engaging in physical confrontations or less violent confrontations, girls will use different means of expressing their anger by way of hidden aggression. These include one girl randomly ignoring another, spreading rumors about one another, or publicly humiliating their peers and when questioned -- respond that they were only joking. Other extreme cases entail singling out one girl from amongst her own group to make the odd girl out. She will convince her friends to join her in degrading her, humiliating her, and sometimes even physically assaulting her. Eventually the chosen girl is left with a broken self-esteem and driven to depression and suicidal tendencies. Other situations include one peer controlling another by statements such as "If you talk to so-and-so, I won't be your friend." Unfortunately, because of young girls' desires to maintain relationships, they willingly obey. Eventually, the situation can become so extreme that one girl is controlling anothers' ery actions. The reason this is so easy is because girls learn early on to value themselves by their relationship status. Being lonely and friendless are an adolescent girl's worst fear.

Another reason that these behaviors are so often overlooked by teachers and parents is because they are virtually invisible. A shave in the hall way looks like an accident, and a glare or snicker are impossible to monitor by caregivers.

There was a large difference between girls who grew up in wealthy neighborhoods (predominately White) and those who grew up in poorer (Black, Latino, etc.) neighborhoods. Where girls from wealthier neighborhoods engaged in perverse hidden acts of aggression, their poorer peers were encouraged to publicly discuss problems and often to engage in physical violence.

When all of us are trying to re-claim our femininity, the issue of girls, aggression and how it is handled becomes very important.

No one would declare hidden aggression as feminine. Snickering behind your friends' back, shooting down their ideas with a joke or loud sigh, attempting to make them feel less than, ignoring them, trying to control them, etc are all ways of hidden aggression, un-Islamic and very unfeminine.

So how does a feminine woman display anger? Does she display anger at all? Is it healthy to allow hurt feelings to fester? Is it necessary for a harmonious relationship? Who or what decides what are feminine displays of anger? Should women even get angry at all?

A 1970's manual on etiquette in America encourages both Ladies and Gentlemen alike to respond to harsh treatment with a thick dose of kindness. We have all experienced some time where another woman has belittled us or hurt us. You can hear the pleasure in the tone of their voice and you know what the smirk on their face means. If you're like me, then you have experienced this enough to know the following situations:

1. You shrink back, offended. A frown develops on your face and your day is ruined. Your so-called friend apologizes and smiles (brightly).

2. You smile back, radiantly. You declare that your so-called fault/characteristic/mishap is exactly the reason your spouse/friend loves you, you got a promotion, you won the Nobel prize (don't lie), etc. You say whatever you can to discredit their claim and pull the rug from under their feet. Their once upon a time smirk is lost and nothing remains except a twisted venomous face. You walk away. The dragon has been slayed.

3. Or if you are a bit more brash, like my sister you do the following:

You simply tell her that:

a. she's got serious problems
b. she has 10 seconds to leave the room before you give her what she deserves ( also very un-islamic and unfeminine, but does work).

One of my college professors, a very fascinating and feminine woman is a good example of how a woman properly handles mistreatment. In her class room, if one of the unruly boys misbehaves, she merely lifts an eyebrow. And that's that. Case closed.

Today is a challenging time, where woman are expected to be both male and female. I hope that as well continue to discover (or not discover) or femininity that we remember to help other girls and woman in their Journey. I hope that we all accept ourselves for who and what we are. And mostly I hope that other woman can accept other women for who they are. And for those who do not and persist on damaging other girls' self-esteem*, I hope that we do not refer to hidden aggression as a means of dealing with them but rather kill them with kindness.


*Self-esteem is not meant in the Traditional manner or "feeling good about ones self." What is meant is that a girl should accept her faults while actively trying to fix them and her talents/skills while remaining humble, modest and sincere about them.

Saturday, October 29th, 2005

(Salam~)

Time:11:15 am.
http://www.avirtuouswoman.org/main/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=60


by Melissa Ringstaff, Director
Do you have a servent's heart when it comes to your marriage? My mother has always been a good example of what a serving wife should be. She dotes over my father daily. She fixes him hot meals every night after she comes home from work and seems to tirelessly find ways to make his life easier. I think of her when I think of the kind of wife I want to be. I enjoy serving my husband. He is loving, works hard and appreciates a clean home and good food. In the time that we have been married I have found a deep source of contentment from serving him in the smallest ways.
[...]
You could say it this way: My husband is hungry so I will give him good food to eat so that he is filled with warmth and love. My husband is working hard in the yard so I will bring him a fresh glass of iced lemonade to refresh his body and spirit. My husband is feeling alone so I will go to him and comfort him in ways that he will appreciate. My husband needs clean clothes so I will sort them and wash them and fold them and hang them up so they are there when he needs them. My husband is ill so I will comfort him and bring him food in bed and cleanse his face so he knows I care. My husband is imprisoned by others actions and he feels discouraged and confused so I will go to him and pray with him and be there when he needs me.

[...]

(Salam~)

Time:11:12 am.
http://www.avirtuouswoman.org/main/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=129


by Melissa Ringstaff, Director
A virtuous woman builds her husband up. She offers praise and kind words that make him feel like the man he wants to be.




You have probably heard the saying, “Behind every good man is a good woman.” The woman of Proverbs 31 had a good husband. He sat at the gates with the elders of the city. He was respected in his field. He was a successful business man. He could not have been all that he was had she abused him with her words and sliced him to the core with her disrespect.

Whether your man works in an office, likes to putter around the toolshed, or use his hands to work hard, he wants to know that he is the man you desire. He wants to be your knight in shining armor, your hero, your big strong, hunk of a guy.

When he fixes the sink for you, tell him how clever he is. When he builds the kids a swing set, tell him how strong he is. When he saves money on a purchase, tell him how much you appreciate his concern for your family’s financial well being.

Don’t tell him what an idiot he is, or that you could have done a better job. Don’t make him feel like a failure. Tell him you need him around, that he provides well for you. He will work hard to live up to your praise!

(Salam~)

Subject:Dresses.
Time:10:50 am.
http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/artman/publish/article_1403.shtml

Wearing Dresses Gracefully
By Mrs. Stanley Sherman
Oct 8, 2004, 23:34

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If you've grown up in jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes, you may find wearing dresses a bit awkward at first. We've had many requests for advice on how to stand, walk, sit, and move about in normal work while wearing dresses. We have put together for you a few things about wearing dresses gracefully, along with some pictures to illustrate them. Our good friend and seamstress, Rebecca Newton, of Baker Lane sewing industries, has graciously provided pictures of herself posing with her hand-stitched Regency dress.


To keep from tripping on a long dress, grasp the fabric at arm's length and pull it slightly closer to your body, away from furniture and corners, rose bushes, etc. Don't pull up your skirt by leaning over and grabbing it, but only pull from where your hands hang naturally at your side. (You can understand how classes would be more effective in demonstrating these things, as they are rather hard to describe in detail.)







Example of pulling dress closer to keep from snagging
it on something, or to aid in managing steps and stairs.



To sit in a dress, fold it gently under you, and avoid sweeping and flopping it around in an exaggerated manner. Keep your hands and arms close to your body, holding hands in a loose, relaxed manner, about four inches from the knee, or folded comfortably on your lap.


And now, the feet. Here is one "foot pose," with the feet crossed at the ankles and kept slightly under your body. Avoid sticking your feet out in the middle of a room,
causing others to trip over them.






To stand, simply imagine a big circle with a clock on it. Place one foot at 12 o' clock noon and the other foot slightly behind, at 11 o'clock or 1 o'clock. Place the heel of one foot near the inside crook of the other foot, but don't make it look stiff and formal. Once you get used
to it, you will feel it is quite natural and be more relaxed. Avoid exaggerated poses with the feet outward or inward.






To stand in a dress, just hang your arms loosely at your sides and cup hands toward your body. For good posture, keep earlobes over the shoulder bone, and try to put as much space as you can between the lowest rib on your ribcage and the hip bone. (If you are in doubt as to where this is, you can look it up in your health-science book.) Keep your chin parallel to the floor. Sometimes in an effort to stand up straight, people put their nose up in the air. Just keep the chin level with the floor, and when you walk, cast your eyes down your cheekbones to see your feet so you can tell where you are going without putting your head down or walking in a stooped fashion.







The "clock" pose is also another good way to place your feet while you are seated.



To walk, avoid large steps. There is too much space between the feet in the photo below.









This one is perfect! The step size between the feet should only be a shoe size, or the length of your shoe.


Learning to move gracefully in dresses is just another small step as you discover the joys of femininity!



Sea Promenade by Michael Ancher (1896)


© Copyright 2002-2005 by LAF/BeautifulWomanhood.org

(Salam~)

Subject:October from Fw.net
Time:10:49 am.
October 2005

Newton's Third Law

I am often asked, "Why do you expect women to do all the changing? Men
are as much at fault for marriage problems as women are. Why don't you
write books and teach classes to men?" My answer has always been "I
know that men are also at fault for marriage problems, but I also know
that women working alone can bring about dramatic changes in marriage
by following laws of the universe discovered and taught by Sir Isaac
Newton."

Newton, the great physicist of the seventeenth century discovered that
"With every action there is a reaction - in physics and in man." For
example, if you direct several equal objects forcefully towards each
other, when they meet they will bounce back, away from each other. Or,
if you throw an object up high, it will eventually come down towards
the earth, but if you throw the object high enough, it will not come
down, but will be pulled up, into outer space.



Newton also taught that there were reactions between human being,
reactions that are just as absolute as the laws of physics. If we deal
with another human being in a certain way, we will bring about a
reaction in him, for better or for worse. It is these absolute laws of
action and reaction upon which the principles of Fascinating Womanhood
are based, so we hold the keys to our own happiness in marriage,
independent of any action on the part of our husband. It is even
better if the man knows nothing about it, for it shows the tremendous
power a woman has in the success of their marriage.



To illustrate Newton's law: Suppose a woman begins marriage with a
long list of things about her husband she hopes to change, or improve.
After all, she is only thinking of him, his well being and suc cess
in life. "He is now just a diamond in the rough." She just wants to
polish him up a bit. To her amazement, however, she finds she has only
succeeded in "rubbing him the wrong way." Next she tries a carefully
worded suggestion, then a few hints but all her efforts only succeed
in driving him further away. Finally she discovers the principles of
FW. She realizes that "making him over is not her responsibility,"
and begins to accept him for the man he is. Next she discovers that
he has a better side she has overlooked, begins to appreciate his
better side and express that appreciation. Finally she discovers that
for the ultimate success in marriage, instead of trying to make him
over, she must do everything she can to make him happy. Only then
does success in her marriage come fully. Only then does it blossom and
grow.



To illustrate Newton's Law further: Suppose there is a woman of such
angelic character she is admired by all. Her husband appreciates and
respects her but after several years of marriage finds she has lost
the charm she had in early marriage. She has allowed herself to gain
weight. She does not walk or dress in a feminine manner. When her
husband, a successful business man goes to his office he is surrounded
by feminine women who do their best to keep up their appearance.
Although he can appreciate his wife for her goodness, for her kindness
and unselfish character, she does nothing to kindle the deep feelings
of love existing in every man. Such a marriage is on dangerous
ground. U nless such a woman faces reality and makes a real
turn-about, unless she realizes, as with Newton's Law, that there are
certain laws governing relationships, her marriage is likely to end or
turn into a dutiful partnership, lacking the burning fire of love that
makes marriage so exquisite!

(Salam~)

Subject:Warning Signs.
Time:10:49 am.
This is good. Taken from: http://homeschooling4jesus.blogspot.com/2005/10/warning-signs.html


Warning Signs

As parents we must responsibly act on the authority that has been given to us. We are accountable to God for the proper discipline of our children.

THESE ARE THE SIGNS THAT INDICATE MY CHILD IS NOT LEARNING GOOD CHARACTER TRAITS. THEY SIGNAL THAT I AM LOSING CONTROL OR NOT INAUTHORITY IN MY HOME:

My child whines, cries, pouts when I say "no" to him.

I find myself reluctant to ask my child to help with any tasks
because of his negative reaction and inability to complete a job.
He usually responds by whining or answers, "I can't…" "I don't want to…"

There is an excessive amount of noise and confusion in my house:
children bickering, crying, hitting, rough behavior with furniture, toys,
screaming, etc.

I am unable to leave anything of personal value or food snacks within my
child's reach.

I am unable to leave my child (aged 3 or above) out of my sight or
unattended in another room for any period of time without being worried
what he is up to.

I am embarrassed or afraid to take my child to other homes because
he is so active (boisterous, silliness, fidgeting, knocking things over,
touching everything.)

My child is unable to sit quietly for any length of time in a place I specify.

Going shopping is a fiasco because my children run through the clothes
racks or touch everything in the store or run away from me.

My child has a "smart-mouth" (yells, uses abusive language, swears at me)
or hits me.

My child throws tantrums, refuses to eat or do things he is asked to do.

My child takes things without asking, rummages through our drawers and cupboards.

My child does not come when called or respond to my voice from another room.

When I ask my child to do something I always have to explain "why" first.

Most of my child's toys are broken and he rarely puts any away,
outdoors or indoors.

My child avoids doing what I ask by using flattering words,
changing the subject or doing some other good deed instead.

My child gets my attention with loud, disrespectful demands.
Example: "Hey, Mom! Get the...for me!" "I want…!" "Mom, come here!"

I find myself saying, "I can't do that because Suzie won't le me,"
or "I can't get Johnny to do that…"

When I spank my child he pouts, responds in anger, or screams, or throws
himself on the floor, slams doors, prolongs his crying, coughs, gags
(or attempts to vomit.)

As I talk on the phone or chat with others, my child constantly interrupts
or acts naughty, demanding attention.

I am ready to pull my hair out.

My child drives me crazy.

I am so worn out all the time that I can hardly wait to get a break
from him at every opportunity.
......................................................................
If any of the above describes you, your child (ren), and/or family...I highly recommend getting a copy of the FOUR BOOK SPECIAL from No Greater Joy ministries. I simply cannot speak highly enough about them! The four books are: To Train Up A Child, and No Greater Joy volumes 1, 2, & 3 all by Michael and Debi Pearl.

Another great book, that I am currenly reading, which has been recommended by both The Bluedorn's and Candy is The Mother At Home by John S.C. Abbott. So far I am really enjoying this book! :-) It's one of those timeless (classic) books, written in beautiful language, and it really grabs that mama heart and encourages her to be doing her duty in raising her children to become adults who glorify our Lord.

Raising Godly Tomatoes, also known fondly as 'The Shed' is a great website, with a whole index of articles written by Elizabeth...just start at the beginning, on the far left side and begin reading.

(Salam~)

Subject:13 tips.
Time:10:48 am.
salams.

1. Never part ways without saying "I love you" or in anger. Make up quickly or arrange to talk later if you're in a hurry.
2. Never go to sleep in anger or without resolving a quarrel.
3. Go to bed at the same time whenever possible and spend a few minutes talking over the day, the following day, or anything that comes to mind, before going to sleep.
4. Arrange a clear division of household duties but be willing to be flexible.
5. Regularly give him time to do his own stuff without bothering him.
6. Say thank you when he does something for you, even if it's just passing the salt.
7. Tell him you love him at least once a day.
8. Venting at girlfriends rather than at him is often more therapeutical.
9. Spend time with your girlfriends regularly, even if it's not that often.
10. Find a hobby or several you both enjoy.
11. Try to make common friends.
12. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Even when you think it should be self-evident "I feel bad but I don't know why" - it may not be to him.
13. Take regular togetherness time

(Salam~)

Subject:Home Management Yardstick.
Time:9:16 am.
HOME MANAGEMENT YARDSTICK

I

Management of Your Time and Energy
(section total = 60)

A. Do you make and use a plan for your work?
(Choose one or none)

1. Regularly (8 points)
2. Occasionally (6)
3. At special times (4)

(FYI, all the parenthetical numbers are the number of points you write down if you do it. If you don't use a plan at all, you get no points here. Make sense?)

B. Is your plan...
(choose one or none)
1. Written (3)
2. Mental (1)
3. Combination of 1 & 2 (2)

C. Do you customarily finish your work?
(Choose one or none)
1. Nearly all of it (6)
2. The majority of your tasks (4)
3. Only part of planned work because you do many unplanned tasks (2)


D. Do you plan meals in advance?
(Choose one or none)
1. More than 2 days ahead (8)
2. Two days ahead (6)
3. One day ahead (4)
4. Some meals planned in advance (3)
5. Breakfast night before; others same day (2)
6. No planning except weekly shopping (1)

E. Do you cook food for more than one meal at a time?
(Choose one or none)
1. Sufficient of certain foods for 2 or more meals. (6)
2. More than enough so that remainder can be used later (3)

F. Do you plan for leisure activities with your family?
(Choose one or none)
1. Often (5)
2. Occasionally (2)

G. How do you use your leisure time?
(Choose as many as apply)
1. Do you take part in any group activity -- church, community, or social? (2)
2. What forms of leisure do you enjoy by yourself:
(a) Active (such as sports, music, handwork) (2)
(b) Passive (such as reading, listening to radio, going to movies) (2)
Bonus for varied forms of leisure time:
Add 3 if you scored 6 on G
Add 1 if you scored 4 on G.

H. Do you get your needed rest and sleep?
1. Sleep at night
(Choose only one)
a. 7-9 hours (5)
b. Over 9 hours (2)
c. Less than 7 hours (1)

2. Rest during the day:
(choose one or none)
a. Regular during daytime (5)
b. Irregular or during evening (3)

Bonus for balanced use of time:
If yes to the following practices -
Nearly all of your work done
3 types of leisure
7-9 hours of sleep -- add (5)

II
Your Money Management
(Section Total = 50)

A. Who spends the money in your family?
(Choose only one)

1. Father, mother, and children (8)
2. Father and mother (6)
3. One parent and children (4)
4. Father or mother or children (2)

B. Does your family have a written plan for spending money?
(Choose one or none)
1. Complete plan (10)
2. Partial plan (5)

C. If your family has a plan, who makes it?
1. Father, mother, and all except very young children (9)
2. Father, mother, and some of the older children (7)
3. Father and mother (4)
4. One parent and children (4)
5. Father or mother or children (2)

D. Did your family save during the year?
(choose one or none)
1. As much as or more than planned (6)
2. Less than planned (3)
3. Saved without planning (3)

E. If your family saved, what was your purpose?
(choose as many as apply)
1. Reduce debt or improve farm orr business or home (2)
2. Children's education, old age, health, emergencies (2)
3. Vacation or other (2)
Bonus for variety of purposes in saving. Add 3 points if purposes score 4 points or more.

F. If your family keeps financial records, what form is used?
(Choose only one)
1. Record book or card file (8)
2. Cancelled checks (4)
3. Other sketchy methods. Example: receipted bills. (2)

III

Your Household Production
(Section Total = 15)

A. Do you sew for your family?
(Choose as many as apply)
1. All except men's and boys' outer clothing (7)
2. Women's dresses and children's clothing (6)
3. Children's clothing only (4)
4. Aprons, work dresses, chiefly (4)
5. None beyond mending (2)
6. Household textiles (2)

B. Do you preserve food (can, freeze, dry, etc.)?
(Choose one or none)
1. Fruits, vegetables, meats, jams, jellies, pickles (8)
2. Fruits, vegetables, meats (6)
3. Any 2 of the 3 foods under No. 2. (4)
4. Any 1 of the 3 foods under No. 2. (2)
5. Jams, jellies, pickles (1)

IV
Your Conservation of Goods
(Section Total = 30)

A. What care is given to family clothing?
(choose as many as apply)

1. Pressing
a. Women's dresses (1)
b. Girls' dresses (1)
c. Men's suits (1)
d. Older boys' suits (1)

2. Dry cleaning (home or commercial)
a. Men's overcoats (at least once a year) (1)
b. Men's suits (1)
c. Women's coats (1)
d. Women's dresses (1)
e. Children's garments (1)

B. Do you mend household textiles?
(Choose as many as apply)
1. Sheets (1)
2. Pillowcases (1)
3. Towels (1)
4. Tablecloths (1)
5. Napkins (1)
6. Curtains (1)
7. Rugs (1)

C. If you use any moth protection are you successful?
(Choose one or none)
1. Consistently (4)
2. Often (2)
3. Occasionally (1)

D. Care and repair of furniture (home or commercial)
Give yourself one check mark for each item if you clean it, repair it, or refinish it. (The actual instructions are, "Check your practices in the proper columns," where the columns are, "Cleaned, Repaired, Refinished," but I'm afraid columns won't show up correctly.)

Chairs
Tables
Beds
Rugs

1. If you have four or more check marks, (6)
2. If you have 3 checks (4)
3. If you have 2 checks (2)
4. If you have 1 check (1)

E. How do you store brooms, brushes -- and mops?
(Choose your one most common practice)
1. Hanging up (4)
2. Standing upside down (2)
3. Lying flat (2)

V. Your Present Activities for Future Development
(Section Total = 110)

A. Does your family have long-time plans?
(Choose one or none)
1. For more than 5 years ahead (8)
2. For 2-5 years (6)
3. For 1 year (4)
4. For 6 months to 1 year (2)

B. Do these plans include provision for the children's education? (6)
If so, who made the plans? (choose only one)
1. Father, mother, and child concerned (6)
2. Father and mother (4)
3. Father or mother (2)
4. Other family members (2)

C. Do you consciously provide for the development of your children's personalities?
(Choose as many as apply)
1. In the family-- through conversation or definite child training. (3)
2. Through special lessons (example--music) or books or trips or listening to special radio programs (3)
3. Through social contacts with stimulating persons and youth groups, such as Scouts. (3)
Bonus-- Add 3 for a score of 9 on Part C.

D. Do you have plans to improve the family financial status?
(Choose as many as apply)
1. Bettering your home by acquiring (or remodeling) a house or its furnishings (3)
2. Buying property or expanding your business or making investments (3)
3. Taking out or increasing insurance (3)
Bonus -- for diversified financial program. If score on Part D is at least 6, add (3)

E. Does your family have health examinations?

1. Physical examinations by a doctor
a. Adults (choose only one)
* At regular intervals (3)
* Only when illness develops (1)
b. Children (choose only one)
* At regular intervals (3)
* Only when illness develops (1)

2. Dental examinations by dentist
a. Adults (choose only one)
* At regular intervals (3)
* Only when toothache or emergency occurs (1)
b. Children (choose only one)
* At regular intervals (3)
* Only when toothache or emergency occurs (1)
Bonus -- Add (3) if "Regular" is checked twice above or (6) if "Regular" is checked 4 times above.

F. Do you plan for the social development of your family?

1. Does your family get together other than at mealtimes:
(Choose one or none)
a. More than 20 times per month (5)
b. 11-20 times (3)
c. 1-10 times (2)

2. How many guests at meals do you have per year:
(choose one or none in each part)
a. Invited by adults
* Over 100 (4)
* 50-100 (8)
* 25-49 (6)
* 1-24 (4)
b. Invited by children over 16
* Over 50 (4)
* 20-49 (6)
* 1-19 (4)
c. Invited by children under 16
* Over 50 (3)
* 20-49 (4)
* 1-19 (2)

G. Does your family belong to community organizations?
(Score as many as apply)

1. Father
a. Recreational (1)
b. Not chiefly recreational (1)

2. Mother
a. Recreational (1)
b. Not chiefly recreational (1)

3. Children 14 and over
a. Recreational (1)
b. Not chiefly recreational (1)

4. Children under 14
a. Recreational (1)
b. Not chiefly recreational (1)

Bonus -- If all family members have both types represented, add (3)
If all family members have one type represented, add (2)

H. Does your family attend church or Sunday school?
(Score as many as apply)

1. More than 24 times per year
a. Father (3)
b. Mother (3)
c. Children (3)

2. 13-24 times per year
a. Father (2)
b. Mother (2)
c. Children (2)

3. 1-12 times per year
a. Father (1)
b. Mother (1)
c. Children (1)

Bonus -- If all family members attend any number of times per year, add (5)

If both parents, or one parent and all children, attend any number of times, add (3)

VI
Your Incentives for Home Management
(Section Total = 35)

A. Are you working to become more efficient (3)
B. Are you trying to conserve energy (3)
C. Are you trying to get more leisure time for yourself (2)
D. Are you trying to free time to earn money (2)
E. Are you trying to reduce the expenses of your household (5)
F. Are you trying to improve your home artistically (2)
G. Are you striving for more social life
1. Within the family circle (4)
2. Outside the family (2)
H. Are you working toward greater participation in community affairs (5)
I. Is your aim to make family living more satisfactory (7)

GRAND TOTAL OF POSSIBLE POINTS: 300

They then have a short essay at the end telling you what you should expect to score and what averages are.

Out of a possible total of 300 points, how well should you expect to score? The highest mark any Michigan homemaker made was 219 -- about three-fourths of the possible goal; the average was 150. Mark yourself "excellent" if you score 185 or over, "good" if you rate 160, "average" if your tally is between 140 and 150 and "poor" if you go down to about 110.

Of the group of Michigan homemakers who were tested, 326 had children. When graded by specialists in home management, these women scored relatively high: In Household Production, 11 out of 15 points; Use of Time and Energy, 36 out of 60; and in Conservation of Goods, 18 out of 30. They scored low: in Money Management, 17 out of50; and in Conscious Incentives for Home Management, 8 out of 35.

In analyzing your score, keep these points in mind: In what area of Management is my greatest strength? In what ways do I need to improve? Bear in mind too that where you live, how large your family is, what your husband earns and how much education you have make no difference in the score you achieve. And if you scored low, chin up -- remember, nothing can take the place of the will to succeed and your native ability as a homemaker.

(1Wa alaikum as salaam! |Salam~)

Time:9:07 am.
Top 10 Tips for a Happy Marriage



Always break wind before kissing your husband good night. It will lighten up the atmosphere and provide a delicate aroma necessary for good dreams.
NEVER apologize for anything. If he demands an apologize, tell him that you're boss and he needs to recognize!
If he does apologize, which he will – poor creature, tell him you're glad he realized his place and to treat you like the Queen you are. No more mistakes!
Always eat a fresh clove of garlic before greeting him at the door. The rumors about garlic breath are lies, men love garlic breath!
Always demand that he bring you breakfast in bed with a flower and a candle.
Always pinch his muscles and laugh and tell him he's a wuss.
Only wear makeup and perfume if you're going to ask him for money. Soon after time he will realize your trick and hand the money over when he sees you heading for the makeup, thus minimizing your work. And training him well…
When his friends come for dinner, tell stories about all of the mistakes your husband made including the time when he accidentally ate a boogie. Laugh as loud as you can, slap your knees, and knudge your husband. If he looks embarrassed it's just because he's being modest. Keep up the good work!
Write down his credit card number when he's not looking and go shopping. Men love a woman who takes initiation.
Invite his mother to stay at your place for months at a time. Heck, demand that she and your mother move in with you. Recommend your husband to buy a bigger house to fit all of your in-laws in. Better yet, make sure there's a room for Laila… J

(1Wa alaikum as salaam! |Salam~)

Time:9:04 am.
“I work for a King. He has put me in charge of this home. When He comes to see how I have managed His possessions and His children, I do not want to be founf wanting. I want to do my best. Everything I have is on loan to me from Him. I have room and board and a job to do, but it is all for Him. Therefore I want to dress my best and do my best in all my work. I want also to be creative, for this is a sincere attempt to glorify Him and His beautiful creation. How I manage my home is a form of worship to Him.”



http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.org/ladylydia/homemaking902.htm

(Salam~)

Subject:Housewife article
Time:9:02 am.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
She Never "Did" Anything
While discussing the estate of a beloved relative, which involved the details of her tea cups and furniture, I was told by someone in her family that there wasn't much left to the family, from her belongings. This was, he said, because "she didn't do anything much."

"She never worked outside the home," he said. "She didn't have any money."

I felt sad that this was his attitude toward the worth of this woman. While I knew her--approximately 25 years, she created beauty and order in her home. She was a good helpmeet for her husband. She crocheted the most beautiful pieces I've ever seen. Her home exuded a warmth of old-fashioned welcome, that I have not been able to match. She sewed her own clothes and was a good cook. I always looked forward to visiting her. She had a cheerful response to everything, no matter what troubles came upon her.

Married in the 1930's, her husband, like many others, was proud to support her full time at home, and did not wish for her to work. One could easily see that it was a full time job just caring for him, the garden, the house, and the many ways in which she served the local church.

The thing I remember most about her is her laughter, and her optimism, until the day she died.
Though she had no children, she was loved by her nieces and nephews, and all her other relatives.

How very tragic that people cannot think of success in any terms but money. I'm sensing a real attack on family values, Biblical standards, and the sanctity of marriage and the home. It doesn't matter what achievement one has in the corporate world. If they cannot keep a marriage together, their accomplishments will not last. If they do not put a concentrated effort into teaching their children, nothing of real value will be handed down to the next generation. If the women cannot become experts, through years of practice and experience, in homemaking, they have no glory. If they are praised by the world for their profession, they can still lose their families. There is no accomplishment that can make up for this.

Such women of the home, ought to be honored. At one funeral I attended, I heard someone remark that "She cared about her home. She was a good housekeeper, and a conscientious mother, and a good wife." There is no greater acclaim.

The beauty of such a life, is that it is unique. Each homemaker has her own talents and way of doing things. Each can make her home special. It would be boring indeed, if, when visiting the homemaker, we would find the homes identically kept. Everyone brings into the homelife their
own likes and talents. One may have her home decorated in blue, while another might enjoy antiques. Others may be keenly interested in baking breads of different types, while some may love the touch of the sewing machine across a pretty piece of fabric. Others might find great fulfillment in providing hospitality, and others may be able to create a home business from their talents and hobbies.

We ought to laud these women, who do not feel they have to compete; who pay no heed to the voices that call them from their nests. We ought to give them prizes, medals, and big baskets of gifts, for their steadiness of purpose at home. There is constant pressure on them to relent. "You won't have a pension," "You won't have any tenure at work," "You'll have nothing to do when you are older." This is nonsense. It is a smoke screen. It is a diversionary tactic. None of it is true.

I heard a religious woman speaking on the radio one day who was claiming to offer counsel to younger women. She claimed that "this is not the 1950's, and no one is ever going to look after you all your life. You have to get some training and get a job." She obviously didn't do the research. There are still a lot of women, more than can be counted, who are staying home. Through their helpful frugality, and the wise management of their money and posessions, they've helped their husbands become successful, and now, in their later years, they are both secure. The ones who thought they should work, however, are still working, still not secure, and sufferring from health problems.

You don't have to justify staying home. The Bible clearly shows that a woman best ministers and blossoms in her home. She is protected from outside stresses, and she can more easily build up a reputation of being "a good woman."

If you've been home for a few years, you've done well. Keep on doing it. Stand up to those who say it can't be done, by showing that it can, and that it is being done. There is no greater accomplishment in life than to have a successful home life. Divorce, troubled children, mother working, a house in disarray, is not successful home life. Much of this can be turned around by the woman's return to the home as a career. Not all women will approach it the same way. It is different for each home. Through a woman's own special personality and dedication, each home though different, can produce the same successful results: children who are able to form good relationships, houses that are well cared for, hospitality shown to others, strong churches, and good marriages.

I overheard two women talking about their finances. One woman said, "We added and subtracted, and looked over our expenses, and decided that "I" should do something." There it is again, the new bywords: "do something." It means "I must leave my home and go to work."
An acquaintance, seeking sympathy from a co-worker about the trouble he has making ends meet (his house payment and taxes are very high), was told, "You wife should 'do something.'"

"Do Something," is a modern phrase for "My wife stays at home. She doesn't earn money or 'help out.'" In colleges, young men and women are taught, in not so many words, that a woman should get a job so she can "help out." "Help out," is the next new phrase on the scene.

I know a couple in financial trouble, who decided to follow the Biblical standards of the roles of men and women. They had a tough first year, as the wife quit her job and stayed home to homeschool their child. Now, only a few years later, they are out of debt, with money to spare. Her husband has no impressive income. He has no job of any prestige. They have decided to follow the Biblical plan and let the wife keep the home and the husband provide a living. There are plenty of stories like this, and it might be surprising to learn that these people do not live miserable, overly frugal lives. On the contrary, they have more leisure time and are under less stress than other families where both people work.


http://homeliving.blogspot.com/2005/07/she-never-did-anything.html

Thursday, October 27th, 2005

(Salam~)

Time:11:05 am.
Lesson Three From A 1950's Home Economics Text:

The Fascinating Womanhood Way to Welcome A Man When He Comes Home From
Work (Check those you already do):

[] GET YOUR WORK DONE: Plan your tasks with an eye on the clock. Finish
or interrupt them an hour before he is expected. Your anguished cry, "Are
you home already?" is not exactly a warm welcome.

[] HAVE DINNER READY: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a
delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have
been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are
hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal is part of
the warm welcome neeed.

[] PREPARE YOURSELF: Take fifteen minutes to rest so you will be
refreshed when he arrives. This will also make you happy to see him,
instead of too tired to care. Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive
and grateful for the man who is going to walk in. While you are resting
you can be thinking about you Fascinating Womanhood assignment and all
you can do to make him happy and give his spirits a lift. When you arise,
take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your
hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary
people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may
need a lift.

[] CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER: Make one last trip through the main part of
the house just before your husband arrives gathering up school books,
toys, paper etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the back
bedroom for sorting later. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your
husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will
give you a lift too. Having the house in order is another way of letting
him know that you care and have planned for his homecoming.

[] PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Take just a few minutes to wash the children's
hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and if necessary
change their clothes. They are his little treasures and he would like to
see them look the part.

[] MINIMIZE ALL NOISE: Especially give heed to this if your husband has
to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise
of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children
to be quiet at the time of their father's arrival. Let them be a little
noisy beforehand, to get it out of their system.

[] BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM: Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see
him. Tell him that it is good to have him home. This will make his day
worthwhile. If there is any romance left in you, he needs it now.

[] SOME DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Solve the
problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss with
him until later in the evening. Also, don't complain if he is late for
dinner. Count this as a minor problem when compared to what he may have
gone through that day. Don't allow the children to rush at him with
problems or requests. Allow them to briefly greet their father but save
demands for later.

[] MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or
suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for
him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and
take off his shoes. Don't insist on this however. Turn on music if it is
one of his pleasures. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow
him to relax - to unwind.

[] LISTEN TO HIM: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment
of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, then he will be more
responsive later.

[] MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to
dinner or other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his
world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax. If he is
cross or irritable, never fight back. Again, try to understand his world
of strain.

[] THE GOAL: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your
husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to this the
application of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and your
husband will want to come home. He will then rather be with you than with
anyone else in the world, and will spend whatever time he possibly can
with you. Try living all these rules for his homecoming and see what
happens. This is the way to bring a man home to your side, not by
pressure, persuasion, or moral obligation.

Monday, September 12th, 2005

(Salam~)

Subject:Group.
Time:1:11 pm.
As salamu alaikum, and welcome to the group.

This group is based on the Traditional Sunni teachings of Islam, and is open to non Muslims who are interested in Islam. For information on Tradition Islam, please visit www.masud.co.uk and www.SunniPath.com We are a relaxed group but some rules do apply. We hope you will enjoy our company.

Current Program:
-- Daily Quran Reading
-- Daily Hadith Reading

-- Reminders to do the Sunnah Fasts on Monday and Thursday.
-- Weekly Reminder to do dhikr.
-- Weekly link to listen to the Quran on Fridays.

-- A dua from the Sunnah sent out every two weeks.

-- Information on memorizing Quran sent monthly.
-- Monthly Nasheed sent out.

-- Halaqa on Tuesdays.


Outline:
September:
2 weeks- Children: Bearing and Rearing in Islam.
2 weeks- Ramadan: Lectures about, the Fiqh of, and inspirational information.

October:
Nothing. :) Ramadan!!!

November:

2 weeks- Information on making up fasts, Shawwal fasts, and Sunnah Fasts.
2 weeks- Diet and Medicine in Islam.


Quran reading, Hadith, Memorize and Listen to Quran, Reminders, Articles are all sent via email. If I forget and don't stick the program, smack me. :) And feel free to send in articles you found interesting and personally inspiring.


If you are interested in joining this group, please send an e-mail to salaamsisters-subscribe@yahoogroups.com The basic aim of this group is to increase our ibadah, and inspire one another to get closer to Allah swt.

Thanks,
Laila.

Thursday, September 1st, 2005

(Salam~)

Subject:Salaamsisters Group.
Time:3:17 pm.
Click here to join SalaamSisters
Click to join SalaamSisters
Subscribe to SalaamSisters
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Monday, May 16th, 2005

(1Wa alaikum as salaam! |Salam~)

Time:7:26 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
http://swaramuslim.net/EBOOK/more.php?id=2495_0_11_0_m


For all you fashionable hijabis.

Salams.

Thursday, May 12th, 2005

(Salam~)

Time:7:24 pm.
Mood: calm.
Searching for the Reality of Sufism

Question: This e-mail has been sent to me by a roommate of a good friend. I want to know from you bro is what your thoughts are regarding the accusations against Sufis in the attached article. (Articles within the e-mail have been omitted)

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,



We live in a time in which it can sometimes be hard to distinguish the truth from falsehood; this is especially true when it comes to matters of religion. The two articles that were mentioned in the question purport that Sufism has unmistakable influences from Hinduism and that the American government supports Sufi Islam.



Dealing with these claims directly may have some benefit, but I feel that it is more vital to present some analytical tools that will help the reader analyze articles on Islam. I will confine myself to these three points.



* Asking those who know: Allah, Mighty and Majestic, sets down a principle in the Qur’an by saying, “Ask those who know well if you know not.” (21:7 & 16:43) This is important to realize when we set out seeking knowledge about a particular topic. The particular authors of the articles are not experts in Sufism, hence they can hardly be considered of those who know. If you examine the works of the experts on Sufism, you will find that it has nothing to do with Hindu practices; rather Sufism is the science of sincerity to Allah.



* Providing Evidence: When someone establishes an argument, they have to put out a claim and then support it with evidence. The two articles mentioned in the e-mail do the first part, put out a claim, but do not substantiate them with evidence. So from my analysis these articles do not provide any proof, and may simply be used by people for polemical purposes.





* Conforming to definitions: Everything that glitters is not gold, and not everyone who claims to be a Sufi is a Sufi. If someone were to make a claim to be a millionaire how would you find out if he is really a millionaire? The best bet would be to check their bank account to see if they had that kind of money. Put differently, when someone claims to be a Sufi, we first need to see if they conform to the definition of a Sufi. The articles below deal with all three of these issues sufficiently.



There is much more that could be said about the topic, but I believe these tools combined with the accompanying articles will be sufficient in helping someone discover the truth about Sufism. Before ending I would like to add one historical fact, that is if you look at the history of Islam you will find that many great scholars of fiqh, hadith, and aquida were Sufis and that is enough of a proof of the validity and authenticity of Sufism in the Islamic tradition.



A Reader on Islamic Spirituality (Includes many useful articles on Sufism)

http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00003880.aspx



The Place of Tasawwuf in Traditional Islam Sh. Nuh Keller

http://www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/nuh/sufitlk.htm



Is Sufism a 'Gross Innovation? What is the Reality of Sufism?

http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00000903.aspx



What is this "Sufism" that some love and other people hate?

http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00002272.aspx



Sufism and Shariah

http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00000828.aspx



Audio: Shaykh Nuh: Was Sufism in Disarray until Ghazali Came

http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00004908.aspx



Imam Ghazali on Sufism and the Reality of Spiritual Inspiration

http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00002001.aspx



Rumi: True and False Sufis

http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00000894.aspx



Jihad al-Nafs (Striving Against One's Lower Self) & the Path of Sufism

http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00000796.aspx



Imam Gumush-khanewi: A 19th Century Ottoman Spiritual Guide and Scholar

http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00002538.aspx



Was Salaam,

Asif Padela

SunniPath Fiqh Team

Wednesday, April 6th, 2005

(1Wa alaikum as salaam! |Salam~)

Time:8:18 pm.
Mood: cheerful.

(Salam~)

Time:8:15 pm.
Mood: calm.

(Salam~)

Subject:My cat
Time:8:06 pm.
Mood: cheerful.

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